The XMen answer your questions!
by midnighter1313
Summary: You ask, they answer! The crazier the questions the better! They've all been forced to promise to tell the truth
1. Chapter 1

***Disclaimer* I do not own any of the X-Men nor the idea for this, or the questions. I only own the answers **

Okay! I've seen a couple of these here and there, and I thought it would be fun to try it! All you have to do is review or PM me any question you would like your favorite (or least favorite!) X-Man to answer! You know what, X-Man makes it sound limited, your favorite MUTANT whether he or she is an X-Man, an Alcolyte, one of the Brotherhood, an X-Man, or just any other mutant we met in the series! This depends solely on you guys, so review! Thanks! I'll try to update as often as possible.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: The bolded is me talking, the underlined is the questions, and the regular is everyone else. The bolded underlined italicized is the Author's Note, yay! Also, due to the overwhelming number of questions (overwhelming for me anyways), I've decided that after this chapter I'll do a group at a time, and if you'd like I'll do the misc. mutants as special guests And I do realize that I switch styles a lot, but I'm still not sure how I wanna write it, and it's not gonna be as formal as a regular story anyway. Thanks for reading!**_

"Alright, alright, everyone settle down!" Logan roared at the group of assorted mutants and the chaos that will always ensue when you bring this many cartoon characters together. After a lot of threats and a lot of Wolverine waving his claws around, everyone settled down to a reasonable volume.

**"OK, here are the rules."** Midnighter1313 called to the mutants**. "Rule 1: Everyone will be quiet unless they are asked a question. I know it's useless me to state that rule since all of you will break it anyway except you quieter and less important mutants. Pyro, if you ruin poor Remy's moments to shine, I will have Bobby ice you. Rule 2: No complaining about Juggernaut stepping on your toe or because you've been fighting with your girly friend and her friends are giving you the evil eye, or because Jamie's annoying you ten-fold or because Magneto's trying to kill you. Rule 3: Since you were all forced to sign a waiver, thanks to the amazing powers of persuasion of yours truly, you all have to answer truthfully or be subject to Logan's claws. And Rule 4 is…. Uhh, hmmm… I don't know at the moment. I may make up more rules later on based on y'alls behavior. Onward Hankward! That should be your name from now on Hank. Hankward. I like it. Anyway, get on with it!" **

"Er, yes ma'am. The first question is for Gambit."

"**Get up here Remy boy!"** Remy walked up confidently, but he was slightly shocked when he heard the question. Of course, it was Remy so he recovered quickly.

"The question is from Ace-of-Cyberspace13. She sent 'Hmmm... question for Gambit: How good are you with a bow and arrow? I bet you're awesome, cuz' erm, I'm not sure about this one Midnighter…"

"**Don't be a wimp Hankward, just read the question!**

"Erm, 'cuz the bow and arrow is hot.'"

"**See! That wasn't so bad, was it? Now answer the question, Remy!"**

"Uhh, well I shot a little when I was younger, not very much though. Hmm, maybe I should start shooting again. Maybe use Wolvie for target practice!"

Before Wolverine could do anything, Midnighter jumped in front of him and yelled**, "OK, well, I think it's time for the next question, don't you Hank?"**

"Erm, yes. The next question is for both Gambit and Rogue."

"**Get up here lovebirds!"** Rogue walked up awkwardly.

"The question is from roguelover321. They said:

'alright

Rogue are dating(or want to)remy if not 

Remy do you want to date rogue'"

"Just so you guys know, I'm very OCD about capitalization, grammar, and spelling, and I wanted a lot to correct this thing, but I didn't (the 2 capitalizations were done by the computer)! But please please please do not do that ^^^. No offense meant to roguelover321." Anyway, Rogue, answer!" said Middy.

"Well, no, we are _not_ datin'—"

"Not _yet_ Chere…"

"Shut up Swamp Rat! And it's things like _that_ that should answer the second part."

"Well, to answer my part of the question, yes, Remy does want to date her. But his Chere is to stubborn to admit that she likes this Cajun. "

"Swamp Rat, why Ah oughtta…."

**"OK! Seems like I'm breaking up a lot of fights, or, in this case, **_**lover's quarrels**_**, so let's continue. Hank!"**

"Yes. The next two reviews are quite long and they are connected, so I will read each question separately. First, Remy."

**"Yay! Another Remy question!"**

"Remy: Do you think Rogue is pretty?"

"Of course! I tink she is tres belle!"

"Ok, next, Rogue. ' Rogue:Have you considered growing you hair out and cutting it different? and maybe getting rid of the heavy make-up?'"

"Remy tinks she would be even mor' belle witout her make-up" Remy piped up.

"Again, shut it Swamp Rat! It's m_ah_ question! I dunno, about the make-up… Maybe a _bit _less…."

"Maybe, a _lot_ less! You're beautiful Babe!" cmae Tabby's loud voice.

"But Ah like my hair the way it is."

**"OK, Rogue, you did good. Next, Hankward!"**

"Next is Jean. 'Jean: What hair dye do you use?'

"What? I don't use hair dye! This is my _natural_ hair color!"

**"Liar! Who here thinks Jean's hair is dyed? Most everyone? Even you Professor? Good!"**

"What? I-!"

**"Get outta here!"**

"Uhh, well the next one is for Scott."

**"Get up here Scooter!"**

"' Scott: Why are you so uptight?'

"What? I am _not _uptight!"

"**Says the man with a stick up his a—Er, I mean butt. Don't cuss kids!"**

"The next is for Kitty. 'Kitty: What are your thoughts on Piotr?'"

"Um, well, he's kind of, like, sweet I guess. It's a shame—"

**"Kitty! You're blushing!"**

"I am not! Anyway, I was going to say it's, like, a shame that he has to be controlled by Magneto. Magneto's an a—"

**"Next question! Don't cuss kids! Kitty's going to jail if she does! Let's get on with it!"**

"Ok, 'Tabby: whos the hottest mutant in Bayville?' *sigh* Midnighter, I'm just not comfortable doing this."

**"Ok Hankward, we'll just have a less important mutant do it. Like Bobby! Get up here and read the questions Bobby!"**

"Hey! I'm not less important than Beast! What about Roberto? He's _way_ less important that me!"

**"Yeah, well I like Roberto. I don't much like you. Now get up here!" **

"Fine…."

**"Now, what was the question again?"**

"'Tabby: whos the hottest mutant in Bayville?'"

"Well…" *sidles up to the nearest boy who just happens to be Sam* "I think it's Sam"

"Uhh, re-really?" *blushes*

"Yeah hot stuff, wanna—"

**"Ok Bobby! Next question!"**

"Ok, um, the next one, still from Random Reviewer 1, is for Piotr. It says; Piotr: Do you get big EVERY where? (someone has to ask...). "

"What does that mean?"

**"Jamie, you don't need to know…. Umm, Piotr, I'm giving you a freebie on that one. You don't have to answer. Sorry Random Reviewer 1! Next question Bob."**

"Umm, this is for… John? Who's John?"

**"That would be our good ole Pyro over here! Come on Pyro!"**

"Uh, well the question is **'**John: Did you know that theirs and X-Girl who lights on fire?"

"Oh really? And who would that be? Oi might want to meet her!"

**"Oi don't think so John! She's too young for you! Get back over there with Remy before you start drooling all over yourself! Next question!"**

** "**Kurt: Did you have ANY friends in Germany?"

"Um, vell, I vasn't very popular back zere. I did play ze French Horn though! Zat made me very popular with ze band girls!"

**"You're a lying little blue boy aren't you? Playing 'ze French Horn' doesn't make you popular with the band ladies! I'm in band, I should know! Next!"**

"Storm: When will you and Logan get together?"

**"Wow Bobby, never a comment on anything. Are you still mad I said you were an unimportant character?"**

"Yes."

**"Good. Storm, what's your answer? You and Logan **_**would**_** be good together. You're both already like Rogue's parents. Whaddya say?"**

"Um, well, I do not know. It is not my decision alone anyway." *blushes*

**"Well then Logan, what do **_**you**_** say?"**

"Ummm… well… I.. don't know. Who knows? Maybe someday…"

**"Wolverine! The famous Wolverine is **_**blushing!**_** What next? Magneto admitting his love for Mystique?"**

"I am _not _in love with Mysitique!"

**"**_**Liar!**_** Ok, you can ask the next question… Umm… What's your name again?"**

"You're such an a—"

**"Ok Bobby! The kids don't need to know what I am! Ask the next question!"**

"Jubilee: Have you ever considered doing fourth of july shows?"

"I think that would be really cool! I've always wanted to do that! But Professor always says no, that I'm too "wild and inexperienced" and I "might kill someone". Psh, so what? It would be fun!"

**"Hey, why don't you throw some of those sparklers at Bobby? Now **_**that **_**would be fun!"**

"Heh, you're right!" *throws sparkles at Bobby*

"No, that's _not_ fun!" *dodges sparkles*

**"Haha! Yeah it is!"**

*pant pant* "Ok, *pant* let's get to the next question. The next one is 'Amara: Do either St. John's or Bobby's powers offend you?'"

"Well, Bobby's definitely do, but that's just 'cause it's Bobby"

"Hey!"

"But who's St. John?"

**"It's Pyro."**

"Oh… What's his power?"

** *Sigh* "He controls fire"**

"Oh… Well, not really, but if he ever tries to control _me_ I'll have Bob over here freeze him over"

**"Why don't we have Scooter blast Bobby after he freezes Pyro?"**

*beaming* "Sounds good!"

*disgruntled* "Well, the next one's for Roberto. And Ray too."

**"Bobby, you're no fun! You go sit in your icy emo corner and **_**I'll**_** read the questions."**

"Fine!" *throws papers on ground*

*picks up papers from spot patiently awaiting his next turn which he knows is probably coming up* *grins* "Dere ya go Chere"

***grins even bigger* "Thanks Cajun. Now, next, like Iceboy said,"**

"It's IceMAN!"

**"Whatever Iceboy. Anyway, it's Ray and Roberto****. Roberto: Would you rather be locked in a basement with no windows/doors for 48 hours, or have to watch Fried Green Tomatoes, The Last Song, Charlie , The Notebook, Pretty in pink, Beaches, and Pretty Woman?**** And Ray, ****Ray: Same question as Roberto's, but instead of the basement, be in a raft in the middle of the ocean?"**

*Ray and Roberto glance at each other guiltily* *Roberto starts* "Well, actually…"

*Ray* "We both live all those movies…"

"But," Amara protests, " then, Roberto, why wouldn't you go to see The Last Song with me?"

"Because I didn't want anyone to know I liked it."

"So, we'll pick the second option," Ray and Roberto chorused.

**"Oi. These X-Men. The only normal ones are Acolytes, and look at who they have to choose from!" **

Remy, Pyro, Piotr, Sabertooth, and Magneto all look up at this.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sabertooth growled.

**"Oh, go play with your yarn and eat your cat nip Sabertooth. I don't think you have any questions anyways!"**

*Sabertooth storms out*

**"Ok, speaking of Acolytes, the next erm, question is for Magneto. ****Magneto: Your helmet is stupid.**** Next, Xavier. ****Xavier: Get a wig.****Then, Mystique. ****Mystique: Stop having an identity crisis.**** Oh look! An actual question! ****Sam: how many siblings do you have?****"**

"10 actually. I'm the oldest of 11"

_**By the way, just so y'all know, I had to actually look for this answer. I couldn't find any info on his as an Evolution character, but this is how many siblings he had in the comics.**_

** "Weird. I only have 3! But then my dad has a whole lot… anyway, next question! Uh.. Bahaha! The next one's for Rahne. ****Rhane: What does Jean's hair smell like? Dye perhaps?"**

"Um, well," *sniffs Jean* "Yeah, it actually does a little!"

**"Ha Jean! Take that!"**

*Jean runs out crying*

**"Well, I hope there're no more Jean questions. Anyway, while reading through these I noticed that there are a lot of repeats, so let's address those. Scott, what's with the pole up your butt we've covered…. Oh! One person stood up for Scott! It says, ****Scott: do you hate all the 'pole up your ass' jokes/comments? I mean, I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for your seriousness *cough* dead parents *cough* Sucky child hood *cough***

"Well, a little bit. I know I can be a stick in the mud, but—"

***Snore* "Huh, what? Oh yeah. I'm sorry Scott, but this story **_**is**_** marked comedy, and, well, even if it isn't very funny **_**anyway… **_**Oh! Look at how long this is getting! We're almost to 4 pages! Let's quit while we're ahead and have more questions next chapter. Review! And tell me which group you want next: X-Men, Acolytes, Brotherhood, or even couples! Thanks for reading! Say bye everyone!"**

Everyone: Bye!


	3. AN

Ok guys this is just an author's note chapter. I'd like to answer some of RainbowPlushies' questions. "Why the **does she get to ** tell us not to ** swear?", "Why is the author uncomfortable with slight innuendoes. I thought she was at least 13!" Well, RainbowPlushies, because some kids might be on here that read this might NOT be at least 13, and I'm not gonna be responsible for teaching them that stuff, is that Ok with you? Oh, and Sabertooth said he'd rather attack YOU for flaming his favorite author. And Rogue said she agrees with Ace-Of-Cyberspace13. But I know I'm not that funny, and I do believe I actually stated that in my last chapter. Also, you do realize that if you don't like it, you don't HAVE to read it right?


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